If you don't want to hear about it, don't tell about it
There's a couple of blogs that I read pretty regularly. One of them, happens to have a husband who's blog I also read. I'm sure this couple is very nice. I'm sure they are using their blogs as means of self-expression and reflection; however, recently, they have been posting things about their child who is not developing "normally" (if that's even possible). Now, I don't have a problem with people talking about their kids, their family, even their jobs to some extent on the internet. In fact, I'm a firm believer in the First Ammendment so you should say whatever you want (cock, shit, balls, fucker, etc....) However, if you're going to put something out there for people to read AND comment on, you're going to get criticism. No matter what you say, someone is going to have a problem with it. "The Pope is a nice guy." Some disgruntled Catholic is going to wholeheartedly disagree with me. I'm fine with that. Unfortunately, the authors of these blogs have THE THINNEST SKIN EVER. No, I do not have children, and I will probably have thin skin when it comes to my children too. BUT, if you don't want somebody to comment on something in a negative or critical way, don't let people read it. I just think that if you put something on the internet, and make it available to others, but you get pissy when they say you're not "normal" or "this is how you SHOULD be doing it" you've really set yourself up.

I think this post is really just about people in general. People are inherently good, they only go bad every once in a while, and usually, it's due to crazy environmental factors like an alcoholic abusive father or something. When people give criticism to others, who have been willing to discuss it openly, they're not meaning to hurt anyone. People like to share ideas about things that helped/hurt them in their experience. Additionally, people really need to think about the demographic of regular internet readers. While the blog author may not know the commentors, the commentors feel like they know the author. When these people return to your site day after day, they know you, your style, your life. I just think if you put all the details about your life out on the line, and then bitch because people don't like it, you're the one who's got the problem.

I probably won't go to their blogs anymore, because it's pretty riddiculous to read people getting pissed off at comments everyday. Turn the comments off, damn! So seriously, for your kids sake, for your own sanity's sake, if you can't take criticism (constructive or not) don't hand anyone an opportunity to give you any.

Winter Lizzard
It's cold as balls here, plus we have snow drifts up to my waist. We tried to drive to Springfield today, but turned off because the weather was so horrible and the plows couldn't keep up with the snow. It's all blustery outside. We were supposed to be out of this by this afternoon, but I guess intellicast lies...

Here's a list of things I love...
1.) I love Jim Henson movies. My top three favorites are Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, and Muppet Christmas Carol. But has he really ever made a bad movie? Nor has his son Brian. The only thing I might be finicky about is that Disney now owns the muppets, but Jim was trying to do that before he died anyway.

2.) I love stuffed animals. Call me crazy, but I think stuffed animals have the power to cure all maladies, and shun evil back to the darkness. Plus, I think they help with psychological well-being. Projection is a big habit of mine, as sometimes my stuffed animals get really pissed at Brandon for something he's done.

3.) I love my new oldnavy jeans. I usually get annoyed with their sizing... and I have to say that these jeans are a whole size larger than what I usually wear: however, I think these are a great fit. They weren't on sale, and they were probably the most expensive thing in the store at a whopping $40, but I needed them since all my other jeans have holes in the leg area.

4.) I love candles. Recently, I went buck-fucking-crazy buying Brandon more candles for HIS apartment. I'm tempted to say THE apartment, or OUR apartment. But, the truth is, it's his. Anyway, we got home from Smeff and realized his apartment was like, 60 degrees because the heat is shitty. So we went to wal-mart, centralized location of all evil, and bought more candles. I love them, because they're all really harvesty smelling. We got some baked apple pie tea lights. A large jar candle of spiced cider (for the candle warmer), a small jar candle of spiced cider for the bathroom, and a huge 4-wick pumpkin spice candle for the coffe table. It's very smelly and festive at our house.

5.) I love crazy crack-pipe potential employers who call my cell phone at 9:30 at night. Now, I don't officially know that this was a "potential employer" because I had to do reverse phone look up on white pages. But when I DID get the guys name, I googled him and his phone number, and it went straight to an ad on Monster looking for someone in the Quad Cities for some advertising sales job. Dude, I know the rest of you take crack all the time because you've sold your soul to the devil, and he provides you with the free crack, but don't fucking call after 5pm. End of story.

6.) I love my new blue/brown hair. It looks awesome and I'm going to search for the perfect cut for it. Brandon's sick of my hair getting everywhere, and I am too. We'll see in coming weeks if something gets done.

7.) Finally, I love my swan. He got me a badass x-mas present (I can't divulge here because I'm going to secretly use it on Jen). Anyway, my swan is the best in the universe and I love him.

Blog Promotion?
So I've been thinking of getting a real website, with a real URL and having real stuff on it. At the moment, I'm not coordinated enough with HTML to do something like that, but I've been looking at FrontPage and thought about getting it. There's a 2003 edition that you can buy somewhere for $99. The thing I wonder is, A: am I interesting enough to have my own website? B: Would it be worth the 9.95 a month to host it?

I'm still wrangling these questions... I've always wanted to have my own website. I just think they're so much fun. Plus, eventually, I could put my business stuff on there too. Maybe the "scurvy lime" will be a bar and grill that I can post the menu on. Who knows. I'm still working out the kinks. Anway... we'll see.

Brandon Do Not Read (secrets enclosed)
So we've been kind of stuck inside lately, mostly because we're trying to conserve money, but partly because it is so horribly cold. We have enough food, and I recently went shopping so it's not boring things. I think Brandon is just bored because he's watched all the movies he has, he's played all the games, read all the books, etc. We don't have cable (all that will change at our new place), so it's kind of like, entertain yourself. I ordered some catalogues from Crate and Barrel and Pottery Barn and stuff. We usually look at those and laugh at the higher standards of living other people can afford...

On another note, I'm really trying to concoct something tasty for Brandon for Valentine's day. I've decided that I always try to take him on a trip or something. I'm the one that likes trips, he likes stuff. I want to get him something really nice this year because he does nice things for me, and pays for my shit, and tells me to get my shit done. I've just been really stressed with graduation/christmas/whatever and he has been an especially good swan. I was going to get him a super-new game, but we're kind of in a game lull because we can't really find any new ones that we want. If I get my job, I would love to get him a digital camera or portable DVD player or something like that. I guess we'll see.

Job search is going the same way as usual... pretty shitty. I have found more jobs that I'm qualified for, and a few taht are even traditional hours (which is ideal). I hate to think of myself working retail/sales the rest of my life.

New Year's Resolutions
1.) Eat better. Kind of cliche, but only because it's important
2.) Wash my sheets more often. Enough said.
3.) Get a new hairdo/color.
4.) Make-over my wardrobe
5.) Buy a tredmill (maybe by the end of 2005).
6.) Be the chubby girl that all the other chubby girls want to look like.
7.) Write a letter to Gov. banning the use of fois gras.
8.) Start investigating for my own business.
9.) Learn to knit, Learn to knit, Learn to knit!
10.) Start folding my clothes when they come from the dryer.
11.) Eat breakfast.
12.) Learn to drink tequila (again).
13.) Try new drinks at the bar (not just 7 and SoCo).
14.) Make a former classmate feel bad for not being nice to me.
15.) Host a cocktail party.
16.) Make one meal with only green ingredients (for Brandon).
17.) Write in my blog more.

Happy 2005, everybody! Hope it's a good one.

Someday you will find me, caught beneath a landslide...
This weekend was a disaster above all disasters. First the good news. My last day was Saturday. It was a horrible last day because K with the black jeans was evil to me, customers, and every other employee within 10 feet of him at all times. However, everyone was very sad that I was leaving, and actually a few people were mad at me for letting K bother me so much as to quit.

After the sloppy gush fest, though, Brandon and I went home, and that is where the shitty part comes in. Grandma recently moved in with the parents, which is not a bad thing because now I don't feel like I need to worry about getting a phone call in the middle of the night that Grandma fell and broke her hip, and couldn't move so she froze to death and maybe died of carbon monoxide poisoning at the same time and that she's been stiff as a board for at least a week... But, I feel kind of displaced because I have no where that I feel like I can leave my stuff without Grandma or Granny or anyone getting up in my business. I know that's a really selfish thing to say, but there's no where to just BE at their house anymore. It's also really depressing to see Grandma acting so crazy and erratic but funny at the same time... so when i laugh at the crazy shit she says, I still feel guilty. And guilt is not something i generally feel... ever.

Well, I am excited about going to visit Jen and Pete this weekend. We drove the stick home this past weekend to get a little extra practice, and I'm feeling very good about everything. I think even Brandon is pretty impressed. I get a little worried because it makes some weird noises sometimes, but I can't believe that I'm ever really BAD on the car. I know some people who learned to drive a stick, and I know they must have really tore the hell out of their cars when they were learning. Anyway, Brandon is not as nervous, I'm less stressed because of my job, and I'm never going home again... unless I'm staying at Brandon's.

Meat Hands
(As we are sitting on the couch, enjoying our Saturday evening, this conversation takes place.)

B: Eww.. Why are your hands all wet?
M: What?
B: Why are your hands wet?
M: They're not wet, they're just cold from touching summer sausage..
B: I don't even know you sometimes...

Life in general
I really haven't posted an entry in a long time. I think it's because I'm constantly doing school work on the computer... so it's partly become a source of finicky for me. Anyway, Fall is totally here. It's a little bit of a wet and rainy fall, but I'm still really liking it. It makes me think about the store I want to open.

I would make orange pomanders and sell them for $10! And I would make Christmas Cranberry Wreaths and stuff like that. And Fizzgig would have little sweaters and booties on and he'd run around the store. Plus, we'd always have cool christmas music playing (nothing icky like Barbara Streisand who is Jewish anyway). Moving on, I'm getting Brandon to start thinking about Grad School at SLU because I really want to live in St. Louis. Plus, Jen and Pete will probably move back to that area, and we could all open a store together! The problem with SLU is that, well, it's expensive. But the great thing about SLU is that they have both of the grad programs we want... which has only also occured at UIS, which is not a great school...

So we'll see what happens. I was going to take a couple years off, but the closer I get to graduation, the more I'm like, "I'm going straight through, man... I love school." Brandon is starting to get the feeling too. I was worried that we'd get our jobs and then get all adultlike in them... and then we wouldn't be the same people. Sometimes I get nervous when I start new jobs because I'm afraid people will know I'm not really an adult... I think that's probably pretty common. Anyway, so I asked Brandon about getting married next Oct. and he was like, "I'm not sure yet... I guess we'll have to see what's going on then." So I asked him if he was opposed to it and he said, "No... I think it's a good idea."

So things are looking good in my department. All I have to do now is graduate. I'm going home this weekend (I think) so I'll talk to dad about my graduation party. I'll probably have a small party for anyone that comes to my graduation afterwards. I'm only worried about seating. My apartment is very small. But I'm sure it will be fine.

Cauldron Cakes...
Do you ever wonder why people were put on this earth? I mean, not in a, "why are we here?" kind of way. More like, "What fucking purpose do you serve? Because I can't figure it out based on the behavior I just witnessed."

(The following comments do not apply to all employees of the company where I am employed. I in no way dislike my job or the company itself. Just covering my ass.)

I work with the most wretched human being that may have ever been born on earth. Actually, I'm not convinced he was born... I truly believe this man may be one of Satan's minions (scallions, onions, etc.). Sadly, this man is one of my bosses, but he has absolutely no common sense or social skills. I try to avoid him at all costs, but sometimes it's unavoidable... like when no other managers are around. Here are some things I hate about him (most of these things really have no connection to his horrible horrible personality, but they just ice the cake for me):

-his one-size-too-small black jeans he wears like dress pants
-his hair that is slicked back with gel all of one day a week
-his incesant discussion of his nephews and their intelligence, athleticism <-probably not a word
-his insistance on walking in the break room when I'm talking shit about him... Damn you...

I would love to tell the story that is spawning this post, but honestly, I think I would divulge entirely too many details about the company and someone might guess where it is. Anyway, the bottom line is I'm reporting him on Monday because I'm sick of his shit. He's a lame motherfucker, who gets more satisfaction out of pissing people off than out of doing anything else in life. I don't believe in disrespecting people at work, I think it's wrong. But working with this "person" turns me into someone I don't like to be: and evil disrespectful bitch ass...

In other news, Brandon and I went to the store this evening to buy stuff for pumpkin fudge and pumpkin cheesecake. We bought a cauldron for Wiggenwald too... (don't ask).