Birthday Thoughts...
It's my birthday today. Twenty-two years ago, I was born. When I think too hard about my birthday I get teary because I am just so happy.

I have the best life right now. I said I had the best life when I was 21, but I'm ammending that this year. I have a college education. I have a job that pays enough for me to have an apartment, and eat food, and go out for drinks occasionally. I have great family that make me buck-fucking-crazy sometimes, but they're really great.

I have the most awesome boyfriend. He loves me for who I am and he never says to lose weight, or try and look prettier, or any of that shit. He's just really down to earth and matter of fact about life, which is not always my style.... But it does compliment my style most of the time.

I just can't imagine being happier about my life than I am right now. I think back to highschool and how miserable my birthdays were then. I'm not going to get into blame, and who did what. I just had a horrible time. And I think all that anger would eat me alive if I didn't just stop and think, "You know... sometimes people really ARE trying to do what's best, even if it's the worst thing they could do." I still think about it and get upset, but I'm kind of a believer in The Good Samaritan Clause. You know that thing where if you aren't a medical professional, and you try and save someone's live, and end up hurting them worse, you're not liable. I think there's some validity in that for emotional relationships.

Anyway, It's all behind me. I only have great things to look forward to. I can't imagine that being 23 will be better than 22 is, but it always seems to get better. SO THANKS EVERYONE, FOR HELPING ME GET TO 22 AND TO TOTAL HAPPINESS!

Special thanks to Carrie and Jen: for grades 5-12

Score!
I bought a fabulous new green sweater yesterday. Plus, my sick addiction to thrift stores has been renewed. Yes, I feel off the wagon, but this time I actually bought something I will wear to work! It's a lime green sweater (add a little black to the lime to make a darker hue, but still lime green). it has the kind of sleeves that you cuff up. I cuffed them the whole way to make it 3/4 sleeve for spring. It also has a 6" or 7" cuff at the bottom so it hides my "pooch". Very cool.

Best of all, it was $6, but the "upscale thrift" store I visited was having a 50% clearance sale! $3.23 with tax for this awesome little sweater! THey have tons of stuff there, and go up to a size 30. Awesome. Plus furniture, although it is a little high priced for me. I'll be visiting again soon (hopefully with more money...).

I think if I were formally evaluated by a clinical psychiatrist, I would probably be diagnosed with some form of paranoia or something. Lately, I've realy been thinking about what is important to me in life. Not even that so much as thinking about how the forces of nature that are beyond my control are horrifying...

We only get about 80 years to live on this earth. I am a true believer in heaven and hell, God and the devil, right and wrong... But I also believe that there is a gray area. Did all those children go to hell when they were killed by tsunami, simply because they didn't believe in, or know about, Jesus Christ? Does the government really have the right to take the live of someone they believe has taken the life of someone else? I think a lot of these questions, I'm afraid to answer, and that's part of my "liberal" ideology. WHAT IF we convict a man or woman who was innocent and they are put to death. WHAT IF we pull food stamps away from a family who desperately needs them, and suffers serious consequences as a result?

I am not closed minded to other points of view. I thin that taking the life of another human being is very, very wrong. The worst kind of wrong. But what if the person who pulls the plug goes home and smokes in a small house with their wife/husband and kids? They're purposefully endangering their spouse and children's life too. No I don't like the idea of abortion. But what if a girl is raped at 14, after her first period and finds out she's pregnant because the dose of birth control the hospital gave her doesn't work. I know these are ideas that are not regular occurences.

I just sometimes feel like the world is out of control. We've totally lost sight of what is important and what's not. Candidates attach themselves less and less to one issue or another because they want to "appeal" to all the voters. People without money can no longer speak their minds when they are faced with opposition because our media outlets are becoming more and more centralized. Advertisers LIE to American citizens in order to make a buck. Drug companies manipulate numbers and hide studies that show their drugs are dangerous and cause serious side effects because they want their drug on the market.

I respect capitalism. I respect that Sam Walton had a dream, and made it happen. I feel the same way about Ray Croc. I enjoy the benefits of capitalism daily, so to criticize it would be wrong of me. I respect pro-life advocates who think that abortion is a sin because it murders children that so many people in the world would love to adopt. I respect pro-death penalty politicians and activists because I think they want peace for victim's families and they want to keep these criminals from ever hurting anyone again.

I just also believe in a gray area. I'm not saying that there's no "gray area" in conservative America. I'm sure there are issues that many conservatives dissent on as well. I think it might just be a personality difference.

I would rather have nine people take advantage of me, and have one person appreciate and cherish my aid, than turn away all ten, and watch one of them suffer. When I meet St. Peter at the gate, I hope that he says, "Meredith, you really cared about people. You helped them, you sometimes made fun of them, but you tried your best to treat others as you wanted to be treated. You may enter."

Low-Carb Ramblings...
B: "Ok, here's my idea. I want a chocolate unicorn that I can break its horn off and eat it!"

M: "Yeah... wait, what the fuck?"

B: "And I also want a Harry Potter wand made out of chocolate that I can eat. Isn't that a great idea?"

M: "uh... yeah."

B: "That's what I thought."

It's about damn time!
So the job interviews are flowing like gravy. I had one Friday for a job that I don't really want, but I'd take because they pay $11/hr. which is pretty damn good if you ask me. Now, I have and interview tomorrow at 4pm with a company I could see myself working with *maybe*. It's a printing company, so I'm not sure what "marketing" assistant means. Does that mean sales person? Customer service rep? Project coordinator? But, I did call today to set up the interview, and the lady on the phone was SUPER nice. She sounded like someone's grandma telling you to come pick up some cookies or something. That's the kind of job I like. Nice people with cookies.

So the weekend went well, we hung out at Brandon's bro's place in St. Louis. He's got a great apartment, although not my style, still very very nice. HUGE one room loft style... probably around 11 or 12 hundred square feet. I think he pays almost one grand a month, so it is rather pricey. However, I'm sure he makes major money, so who cares? We went to Marti Gras, which was kind of lame, I think they've cracked down in recent years. Drinks were so expensive! Crazy expensive! So we didn't do much drinking, but Brian's b-day bash is this weekend, so Maybe I'll pick him up a 6-pack of something for a gift. His real gift is at Brandon's in Smeff, so he's not getting that.

We'll see about the jobs... and maybe the cookies too.

Civic duty, my ass!
I didn't watch the State of the Union because I'm sick of being lied to. Not by the Prez, but by any politician around. They're all a bunch of shmucks.

On a lighter note, I DID make a pair of earrings, and a bracelet and I'm going to make Jen sell them at the church bazarre. Buy American goods, and by that, I mean buy my goods. But don't look at my goods, 'cause I'll have to slap you!

Owww! Get Back, Baby!
So I've fallen into the whole "listing" trap that many bloggers fall into pretty regularly. But, since I'm not really a blogger, I'm simply a lazy cunt rag bitch, who tells people where to be... I can do whatever the fuck I want (and tell you what to fuckin' do too.)

Things I hate:

1.) Baby blogs. Get over it, you have a baby. I'm not annoyed that you choose to dote endlessly on another human being... Not much could be more loving. What I hate, is that you put every detail about your baby, your vagina, your husband's dick, etc. etc. on your damn blog! The icing on the cake is when you open up for comments, and don't like what people say about you and your damn baby (ahem...see previous post).

2.) The smell of burnt skin in january. Ok... I know that some people out there are getting ready to go on Spring Break in like, 5 weeks, and they want a beautiful tan by then. Fine, but would you PLEASE take a shower or use pleasant smelling lotion on yourself before you venture out into public. Otherwise you smell gross.

3.) Low Rider Trucks (not to be confused with El Caminos). I don't mean to make any racial generalizations here, but in general, when I see low riders, it's usually a white person listening to Tupac, with those shitty "no fear" stickers all over the back window. Uh... do you see any black people riding around in those pieces of shit? Hell no, because black people have taste! Get a clue, you white piece of trash.

4.)People who dance (even if only with their heads and necks) to their cell phone ring tone. No. You are not cool. I don't care if it's the theme from LoveBoat, or an old TLC song, or even the ring tone that came with your phone (you cheap bastard). Quit doing it!

5.) Overly Critical Bitchy People. Uh... wait. Nevermind

6.) Men still still sporting the "caesar" hair do. Remember Mel Gibson in "Hamlet"? Remember the crazy rush to the salon, as every young (and some not so young) man rushed to his stylist to imitate this horrible horrible trend? Well, I do. And I thought I had finally put those evil images out of my head until I saw not one, but two men OBVIOUSLY and INTENTIONALLY sporting the "caesar." Plus... what the fuck, it started after "Hamlet" so why is it called the "caesar"? Just another one of my beefs with this cut.

7.) People who shop at Wal-Mart. I know, I know... I'm one of them. But only out of necessity. You have no idea how many Lexus SUV's and Audi sports cars I see in the Wal-mart parking lot. "Maybe that's how they can afford those cars," you say? Well, if selling your soul to the devil affords you a nice new car, I'll be driving The Prot forever.

8.) Plus-size maxi pads. I just think they're dumb.

9.) ClearChannel. (I intentionally spelled it that way to avoid litigation... incase big brother is watching me). Want to hear famous people say, shit, bitch, fuck, cunt, tits, asshole, or finger bang? Well, don't listen to any of CC's stations, because you will hear only wholesome, premium, corporately sponsored dribble from everyone's mouth. Bullshit!

10.) NIN. Can we schedule some more dates please? I've only been waiting, like, 5 years. Thanks.

If you don't want to hear about it, don't tell about it
There's a couple of blogs that I read pretty regularly. One of them, happens to have a husband who's blog I also read. I'm sure this couple is very nice. I'm sure they are using their blogs as means of self-expression and reflection; however, recently, they have been posting things about their child who is not developing "normally" (if that's even possible). Now, I don't have a problem with people talking about their kids, their family, even their jobs to some extent on the internet. In fact, I'm a firm believer in the First Ammendment so you should say whatever you want (cock, shit, balls, fucker, etc....) However, if you're going to put something out there for people to read AND comment on, you're going to get criticism. No matter what you say, someone is going to have a problem with it. "The Pope is a nice guy." Some disgruntled Catholic is going to wholeheartedly disagree with me. I'm fine with that. Unfortunately, the authors of these blogs have THE THINNEST SKIN EVER. No, I do not have children, and I will probably have thin skin when it comes to my children too. BUT, if you don't want somebody to comment on something in a negative or critical way, don't let people read it. I just think that if you put something on the internet, and make it available to others, but you get pissy when they say you're not "normal" or "this is how you SHOULD be doing it" you've really set yourself up.

I think this post is really just about people in general. People are inherently good, they only go bad every once in a while, and usually, it's due to crazy environmental factors like an alcoholic abusive father or something. When people give criticism to others, who have been willing to discuss it openly, they're not meaning to hurt anyone. People like to share ideas about things that helped/hurt them in their experience. Additionally, people really need to think about the demographic of regular internet readers. While the blog author may not know the commentors, the commentors feel like they know the author. When these people return to your site day after day, they know you, your style, your life. I just think if you put all the details about your life out on the line, and then bitch because people don't like it, you're the one who's got the problem.

I probably won't go to their blogs anymore, because it's pretty riddiculous to read people getting pissed off at comments everyday. Turn the comments off, damn! So seriously, for your kids sake, for your own sanity's sake, if you can't take criticism (constructive or not) don't hand anyone an opportunity to give you any.

Winter Lizzard
It's cold as balls here, plus we have snow drifts up to my waist. We tried to drive to Springfield today, but turned off because the weather was so horrible and the plows couldn't keep up with the snow. It's all blustery outside. We were supposed to be out of this by this afternoon, but I guess intellicast lies...

Here's a list of things I love...
1.) I love Jim Henson movies. My top three favorites are Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, and Muppet Christmas Carol. But has he really ever made a bad movie? Nor has his son Brian. The only thing I might be finicky about is that Disney now owns the muppets, but Jim was trying to do that before he died anyway.

2.) I love stuffed animals. Call me crazy, but I think stuffed animals have the power to cure all maladies, and shun evil back to the darkness. Plus, I think they help with psychological well-being. Projection is a big habit of mine, as sometimes my stuffed animals get really pissed at Brandon for something he's done.

3.) I love my new oldnavy jeans. I usually get annoyed with their sizing... and I have to say that these jeans are a whole size larger than what I usually wear: however, I think these are a great fit. They weren't on sale, and they were probably the most expensive thing in the store at a whopping $40, but I needed them since all my other jeans have holes in the leg area.

4.) I love candles. Recently, I went buck-fucking-crazy buying Brandon more candles for HIS apartment. I'm tempted to say THE apartment, or OUR apartment. But, the truth is, it's his. Anyway, we got home from Smeff and realized his apartment was like, 60 degrees because the heat is shitty. So we went to wal-mart, centralized location of all evil, and bought more candles. I love them, because they're all really harvesty smelling. We got some baked apple pie tea lights. A large jar candle of spiced cider (for the candle warmer), a small jar candle of spiced cider for the bathroom, and a huge 4-wick pumpkin spice candle for the coffe table. It's very smelly and festive at our house.

5.) I love crazy crack-pipe potential employers who call my cell phone at 9:30 at night. Now, I don't officially know that this was a "potential employer" because I had to do reverse phone look up on white pages. But when I DID get the guys name, I googled him and his phone number, and it went straight to an ad on Monster looking for someone in the Quad Cities for some advertising sales job. Dude, I know the rest of you take crack all the time because you've sold your soul to the devil, and he provides you with the free crack, but don't fucking call after 5pm. End of story.

6.) I love my new blue/brown hair. It looks awesome and I'm going to search for the perfect cut for it. Brandon's sick of my hair getting everywhere, and I am too. We'll see in coming weeks if something gets done.

7.) Finally, I love my swan. He got me a badass x-mas present (I can't divulge here because I'm going to secretly use it on Jen). Anyway, my swan is the best in the universe and I love him.